1001 Insults, Put-Downs, & Comebacks

et’s begin with Mist

I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
—Woody Allen

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.
—Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord

He’s a self-made man . . . the living proof of the horrors of unskilled labor!
—Ed Wynn

When you use your brain it’s a violation of the child-labor law.
—Joe E. Lewis

They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good. He’s dead. Good.
—Moms Mabley

While he was not dumber than an ox, he was not any smarter either.
—James Thurber

I thought men like that shot themselves.
—King George V

Stay with me; I want to be alone.
—Joey Adams