I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Psychiatrist: I’d like you not to give too much credit to what people say about you. The moment you set out to be more empathic is the moment it becomes a chore

Psychiatrist: So you get good results?

Me: I do. Which makes me want to work harder, and that sometimes makes me stress out about getting better results.

If someone likes me, I go along with it for a while, and if that works out, we make it official.

I’d like you not to give too much credit to what people say about you. The moment you set out to be more empathic is the moment it becomes a chore. That would result in your empathy decreasing, if anything. It’s good not to fake interest in things you’re not interested in

How awful it must’ve been for people in the past who suffered from it but didn’t realise.

Psychiatrist: Do you really have to worry about these hypothetical people?

Me: Is it wrong to?

Psychiatrist: There’s no right or wrong here. It’s just notable. Because there’s really no end to worrying once you set your mind to it. If you shift your perspective from their past to your present, you can start perceiving your personal experiences in a more positive manner. From ‘How sad they didn’t realise this’ to ‘How lucky it is that I realise this.’ In the past, you didn’t know how to label your symptoms, but now you know. That’s a reason for relief, not for more suffering.

If we have a habit of judging people from a simplistic perspective, that perspective will eventually turn against ourselves.

Sometimes the best thing to do with people who would never listen to you in the first place is to avoid them altogether. To right every wrong you come across in the world would be an impossible endeavour for any one person. You’re just one person, and you’re putting too much of the weight of the world on yourself.

But everything was so love-hate with her; I hated her, but I was scared she would get mad at me and abandon me.

I wasn’t deathly depressed, but I wasn’t happy either, floating instead in some feeling between the two.

Why are we so bad at being honest about our feelings? Is it because we’re so exhausted from living that we don’t have the time to share them?