I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

This may be a kind of relationship that you have never had before. This kind of behaviour is how you increase your freedom and share your responsibilities with others.

If I’m happy then this person will stop paying attention to me

I really don’t know how to tell the difference – between what I really want and what others want for me

Your mood is extremely important. It determines how you interpret the random events of life.

At home I was still stewing on my own, comparing myself to others and criticising myself for being so pitiful, but I didn’t do it with as much gusto as I used to.

I was once told that you had to be able to write even when everything was all right, and I wonder if that takes practice as well. I only write when the weather, my body or my mind is dark. I want to write well while thinking well. I hate being full of heaviness and darkness and excess. So here’s to thinking more positively!

Me: Do I not know myself very well?

Psychiatrist: I feel like you’re not very interested in yourself.

You mean I was just pretending to be kind all this time?

Psychiatrist: You are kind. There’s nothing you can do about that.

If you have unrealistically high standards, you will forever be creating reasons to see yourself as inadequate, as someone who needs endless improvement.

I want people to think I’m special