Corrupt

The closer you got to anything beautiful, the less beautiful it became. Allure was in the mystery, not the appearance.

“Do you still have those masks we used for paintball last weekend?” I ask, stuffing my wallet in my new jeans and running my fingers through my hair.

“Yeah, they’re in the trunk of my car,” he answers.

“Good. Get the guys, and meet me at Sticks.”

“What are we going to do?”

“Whatever we want,” I reply

She would say that I built her. That I created a monster, and that somewhere during the blood, tears, struggle, and pain, we realized that it was love. That all sparks lead to a flame

“People don’t live like we do, Michael.” I turned my head to look at him again. “They go to movies. They cuddle in front of fires…”

“I’ll fuck you in front of a fire,”

Her, sitting next to my mother at every basketball game in high school.

Her, refusing to even look in my direction when I hung out with a girl.

And me, barely able to hold back the smile at the little looks she stole and how nervous she was when I was close.

She was always there, and it was always us.

Her, riding her bike around my driveway when she was five. Her, learning to swim in my pool. Her, running around and doing cart wheels in my backyard.

Her, biting her nails when I entered the room.

how ingrained in every moment of my life she was and how she’d always been there, right in front of me

“I love you, Rika.”

I’ve always loved you

She needed a hot shower, a warm bed, and me

Lust and logic sat on my shoulders like the modern day angel and devil, one telling me to trust my heart and the other telling me that I would never be able to trust his