Homeward Bearings

Homeward Bearings
A 90-Day Veteran Reintegration Guide with DBT-Informed Skills and Clinician-Guided EMDR Preparation
Coming home can be the easy part to explain and the hard part to live.
The flight lands. The door opens. Family is waiting. Then ordinary life asks a nervous system trained for alertness to care about groceries, sleep, school pickup, paperwork, traffic, small talk, and the fact that somebody moved the coffee mugs.
Homeward Bearings is a practical guide to veteran reintegration during the first three months after deployment, separation, retirement, or another major military transition. It gives readers a structured way to handle post-deployment readjustment without pretending there is one correct timetable for feeling at home again.
The book combines selected DBT skills for veterans with plain-language education about trauma treatment, including EMDR preparation that stays firmly on the safe side of the clinical line. Readers learn what EMDR is, what questions to ask a trained clinician, and how to plan for appointments. They are never asked to perform trauma-memory reprocessing or bilateral-stimulation treatment on themselves.
For veterans who want practical PTSD coping skills, the book focuses on what can be done in daily life: grounding, distress tolerance, sleep tracking, emotion labeling, anger interruption, communication, boundary setting, social reentry, identity work, and support planning. Each chapter ends with a short exercise that can be completed without turning the kitchen table into a therapy office.
The 90-day structure is a map, not a deadline. A reader dealing with pain, shift work, childcare, delayed symptoms, medical appointments, or a rough week can slow down, repeat a section, or skip ahead. The emphasis stays on useful action rather than performing recovery on schedule.
Family members are part of the picture too. Veteran family support gets its own guidance on privacy, communication, overload, caregiving boundaries, children, and when current behavior needs professional attention. The aim is to help households talk about what is happening now without forcing disclosure of traumatic details.
Inside, readers will find practical guidance for the military to civilian transition, including how to:
— build a realistic first-week baseline without self-diagnosing;
— use STOP, TIPP, Wise Mind, Check the Facts, DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST accurately and in context;
— handle crowded places, sudden activation, intrusive memories, and hypervigilance with present-focused skills;
— treat sleep as a health issue instead of a toughness contest;
— catch anger earlier and return to difficult conversations with less damage;
— distinguish guilt, shame, responsibility, and repair;
— prepare for clinician-guided EMDR or other evidence-based PTSD care without trying to become your own therapist;
— rebuild purpose and identity after a mission, deployment, or military role changes;
— create a support ladder that includes everyday people, professional care, and crisis resources;
— organize VA, transition, and benefits tasks so paperwork does not become a second deployment.
The book also includes a corrected glossary of DBT and EMDR terms, a family section, current veteran resources, crisis information, and source notes tied to VA, the National Center for PTSD, EMDRIA, Behavioral Tech Institute, Vet Centers, and the VA/DoD PTSD guideline.
Homeward Bearings is written for the veteran who wants a plan without being talked down to, the service member preparing for a transition, and the spouse or family member who wants to help without hovering. It respects military experience without romanticizing it and treats professional care as a practical resource rather than a last resort.