The Outsiders

I had just thought that maybe if I played like Johnny wasn't dead it wouldn't hurt so much

Don't remember how Johnny was your buddy, don't remember that he didn't want to die.

Dally didn't die a hero. He died violent and young and desperate, just like we all knew he'd die someday.

even as I begged silently--- Please, not him... not him and Johnny both ---I knew he would be dead, because Dally Winston wanted to be dead and he always got what he wanted.

He was dead before he hit the ground. But I knew that was what he wanted

How can I take it? I wondered. Dally is tougher than I am. Why can I take it when Dally can't? And then I knew. Johnny was the only thing Dally loved. And now Johnny was gone.

And this time my dreaming worked. I convinced myself that he wasn't dead.

You read about people looking peacefully asleep when they're dead, but they don't. Johnny just looked dead.

"Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold..." The pillow seemed to sink a little, and Johnny died.

He kept calling for Dallas and Ponyboy. If he lived... If? Please, no, I thought. Please not "if."