Evolutionary Coaching: A Values Based Approach to Unleashing Human Potential

Harvard researchers Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey in their book Immunity to Change.8 Kegan and Lahey call these three stages of development the socialised mind, the self-authoring mind and the self-transforming mind. These three stages of adult development correspond to the dependent mind, the independent mind, and the interdependent mind.

pride in your accomplishments and a feeling of self-worth

You want to feel good about who you are by being recognised and acknowledged by your parents and peers.

Later on in life you may find yourself constantly seeking affection and wanting to find a group or community that accepts you for who you are.

Feeling loved by others and having a sense of belonging to a group or community, is the second most important need of your ego-mind.

This stage of development is individuation. We individuate when we feel confident enough to choose independence over dependence—when we are willing to risk separation from the safety and security of the parental and cultural milieu in which we were raised so we can delight in the exploration of our true nature and find answers to the question “Who am I?”

Why is it so hard and painful for some to grow…? Here we must become fully aware of the fixative and regressive power of ungratified deficiency-needs, of the attraction of safety and security, of the functions of defence and protection against pain, fear, loss and threat, of the need for courage in order to grow…
Every human being has both sets of forces within him. One set clings to safety and defensiveness out of fear, tending to regress backward, hanging on to the past, afraid to grow … afraid to take chances, afraid to jeopardize what he already has, afraid of independence, freedom, separateness (ego). The other set of forces impels him forward toward wholeness of Self and uniqueness of Self, toward full functioning of all his capacities, toward confidence in the face of the external world at the same time that he can accept his deepest, real, unconscious Self (soul).

Someone who is truly at the integrating stage will be operating with a self-transforming mind—they will be able to appreciate different points of view. They will not just be aligning themselves with other people who share the same values and vision, they will also be actively collaborating with other people to create a better world. They will not be fighting against something but fighting for something. T

In other words, the evolutionary coaching approach focuses not just on the psychological evolution of the individual, but to what extent the individual can contribute to the psychological evolution of the cultures in which the individual is embedded.

The reality is that no one can be authentic by trying to be like someone else. People trust you when you are genuine and authentic, not an imitation … You need to be who you are, not try to emulate somebody else … Leaders are defined by their unique life stories and the way they frame their stories to discover their passions and the purpos