Sidetracked

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.

—Confucius

Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.

—Confucius

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

—Confucius

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

—Confucius

Death and life have their determined appointments.

—Confucius

I jog upstairs, head into my secret room, and touch the apple on my desk. It’s a wax apple, brilliantly red, and there are seven nails sticking out of it. Still many more to go.

But they’re looking for a monster.

Not a girl who loves red.

Not a girl who is falling in love.

Not a girl who died ten years ago

Then I head into the breakroom where Lana is drinking a coke, kicked back with her feet crossed at the ankles as she stares at the TV. I lean against the doorjamb, studying her easy grin.

She has no idea at how sick the world is. I hate that I can’t take her home right now. Hate that this got more complicated and now I need to stay. She’s the only thing keeping me sane right now.

He pulls out of me, and I clench my thighs together, already feeling the loss. And the mess. The mess I haven’t felt since…

I wait for the wave of nausea to wash over me.

I wait for the panic to seize me.

I wait for the buried memories to resurface and steal this moment away.

But it doesn’t happen.

Another grin curls my lips. He’s just healed another small piece of me

“It’s amazing you survived.”

He has no idea.

“I flat-lined twice. Technically I died twice. Then I was reborn. At least that’s how I like to think of it.”