Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

many emotionally neglected patients have difficulty recalling specific things about their childhoods. Often they will report that their childhood feels like a blur that’s hard to differentiate into exact events.

Your child will learn little, if anything, about emotion in school. This part of his education is up to you

when you deal with what’s missing inside of you, those absences will not be transferred to your children.

If you put a barrier in front of the flowing water, the water will have to go somewhere. It will go around or over the barrier, or eventually, if it has nowhere to go, it will reverse and head back toward the source (meaning your child will turn his emotions upon himself). No matter what, the water will flow somewhere. You cannot stop the flow of your child’s feelings. So please don’t try.

Remember what causes guilt and shame in the emotionally neglected? It’s the absence of parental acceptance and validation of the child’s feelings,

Do unto your child as you wish your parents had done unto you.”

Do unto your child as you wish your parents had done unto you.”

Reflect back to your child the academic skills with which she naturally excels. Reflect back the skill with which she tends to struggle,

Mutual interdependence means that both parties in the relationship are capable of a healthy level of independence and self-reliance, but each member of the relationship relies on the other for some things and at some times.

the only way to give your child what you don’t have yourself is to provide yourself with what you don’t have.