Interesting Facts About Space

“Well, he loved you, honey; he was just a bad father.”

“What are you looking to lock up?”

“Myself,” I say.

I noticed from my podcast that women who light up rooms get murdered.”

He laughs. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

They always ask me if I golf. My hobbies include listening to murder stories, having casual lesbian sex, and telling my mom interesting facts about space. I am not well-equipped to discuss skiing, sailing, and whatever other depraved hobbies occupy the time of opulent middle-aged white men.

I hope there’s an alternate universe where my mom is married to some kindhearted man who loves her. I hope she has a sewing room, and multiple well-adjusted kids. I think that would have happened if I weren’t born. It might have happened if I was a different type of kid. She had to spend all her time with me. I didn’t have friends. I was antisocial. I was always home with her. Something was wrong with me.

“Well, space is how we could see back in time. If we could travel faster than light, and if Earth gave off enough of it, and we had some innovative telescope, that is how we could see our past. We could look back and see the dinosaurs. We could watch the meteor hit.”