The Molecule of More

Love is a need, a craving, a drive to seek life’s greatest prize.
—Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist

From dopamine’s point of view, having things is uninteresting. It’s only getting things that matters. If you live under a bridge, dopamine makes you want a tent. If you live in a tent, dopamine makes you want a house. If you live in the most expensive mansion in the world, dopamine makes you want a castle on the moon. Dopamine has no standard for good, and seeks no finish line. The dopamine circuits in the brain can be stimulated only by the possibility of whatever is shiny and new, never mind how perfect things are at the moment. The dopamine motto is “More.”

Whether it’s an airplane in the sky, a movie star in Hollywood, or a distant mountain, only things that are out of reach can be glamorous; only things that are unreal. Glamour is a lie.

Glamour creates desires that cannot be fulfilled because they are desires for things that exist only in the imagination.

Glamour is present when we see things that stimulate our dopaminergic imagination, drowning out our ability to accurately perceive here-and-now reality.

Passion rises when we dream of a world of possibility, and fades when we are confronted by reality.

Glamour is a beautiful illusion—the word “glamour” originally meant a literal magic spell—that promises to transcend ordinary life and make the ideal real. It depends on a special combination of mystery and grace. Too much information breaks the spell.

—Virginia Postrel

It’s not the extra time or the extra money themselves. It’s the thrill of the unexpected good news.

But when anything, including love, becomes familiar, that excitement slips away, and new things draw our attention.

That happy error is what launches dopamine into action.