Diary of a Wimpy Vampire

Timing is everything in the eternal dance of seduction.

I wanted nothing more than to lie in bed today and think about Chloe and her pretty neck.

to my first ever diary!

glugged away anyway, the greedy pigs.

I wondered what further punishment life could have in store for me.

Oh that’s right, I forgot, no one ever cares about anything I do.

Too late, world. You should have appreciated me when you had the chance.

You might have won this one, little fiend. But I shall never forget this mistreatment.

No, I have no choice but to navigate this eternal river of loneliness in a boat of solitude.

I do know what I’m missing - the point of existence.