Destroy Me

And I’ve fallen.

So hard.

I’ve hit the ground. Gone right through it. Never in my life have I felt this. Nothing like this. I’ve felt shame and cowardice, weakness and strength. I’ve known terror and indifference, self-hate and general disgust. I’ve seen things that cannot be unseen.

And yet I’ve known nothing like this terrible, horrible, paralyzing feeling. I feel crippled. Desperate and out of control. And it keeps getting worse. Every day I feel sick. Empty and somehow aching.

Love is a heartless bastard.

I’m driving myself insane

I watched her count. To 4,572.

It took five hours.

Love is a heartless bastard.

I’m driving myself insane.

He’s come to fight.

For me.

Love is a heartless bastard.

I almost forget that she still hates me, despite how hard I’ve fallen for her.

And I’ve fallen.

So hard

My feelings for her have spiraled out of control.

I’ve come to believe that the most dangerous man in the world is the one who feels no remorse. The one who never apologizes and therefore seeks no forgiveness. Because in the end it is our emotions that make us weak, not our actions

Sometimes I’m just so tired of this life.

And I begin to realize that some small part of me doesn’t want to wish away the thoughts of her. Some part of me enjoys the torture.

This girl is destroying me.