VAMPIRE

Chapter 1
-Trust Me; I’m a Vampire
Okay, so I am a vampire; so what? Yes, I do bite, so just shut up, human readers, and listen, or you will discover just how sharp my fangs are.

Look, I’m not undead, but I am not human, either; I’m just a girl that happens to have better teeth than you do. I am a living vampire, so not dead (with or without a “un,” okay)? You didn’t know that there were real living vampires? Well, that is not my fault, so try and not tell everyone of your ignorance, as my auntie always says; let people think you are an idiot without opening your mouth and proving it to them.

enough of this deep thinking. Amy grabbed her steak up with her non-

Being male means that one does not have to be nice: well-mannered, yes; well-dressed, yes, but nice?

No matter how much night sleep she got, however, she always felt the same the next day,

hours of darkness have a comfortable feel

Horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow.”

Walking alone at night had never been a problem for Amy as she had good night vision. Again, I have said this sort of stuff before, but as mostly stupid humans will be reading this, I try to speak slowly and explain long words. Look, the hours of darkness have a comfortable feel to them

Okay, so I am a vampire; so what? Yes, I do bite, so just shut up, human readers, and listen, or you will discover just how sharp my fangs are.

If Google maps ever decides to photograph our house from the air, someone is going to have one heck of a shock!

o tell anyone wishing to become a vampire