Discworld 19 - Feet of Clay

At the end of Nonesuch Street was a gibbet, where wrongdoers - or, at least, people found guilty of wrongdoing - had been hung to twist gently in the wind as examples of just retribution and, as the elements took their toll, basic anatomy as well.

Whoever had created humanity had left in a major design flaw. It was its tendency to bend at the knees.

Is It Frightening To Be Free?'

'You said it.'

'You Say To People Throw Off Your Chains And They Make New Chains For Themselves?'

'Seems to be a major human activity, yes.'

Dorfl rumbled as he thought about this

What's it mean?'

'Today Is A Good Day For Someone Else To Die!'

The golem watched the dwarf incuriously, like an elephant watching an attack by a rogue chicken.

Then it picked the axe out of the air, Cheri trailing behind it like a comet, and hurled it aside.

Angua hauled Carrot to his feet. Blood dripped from his hand. She tried to shut her nostrils. Full moon tomorrow. No more choices.

'Maybe we can reason with it—' Carrot started.

'Attention! This is the real world calling!' shouted Angua

'Give him his pint of beer and a plate of whatever those things with toenails were and he seems as happy as a pig in muck.'

'I think that's somewhat insulting.'

Tm sorry.'

'I've known some splendid pigs.'

'Indeed

'My point is that, in some strange way, he attracts people.'

'Like a public hanging.'

There was a period of reflective silence

Then laughter exploded in the group as a whole.

Nobby basked.

'Then there's the

You know it, sir?'

'Should do. I was born in that street,' said Vimes. 'It's down below the Shades. Easy... Easy... Yes ,...ow I remember. There was a Mrs Easy down the road. Skinny woman. Did a lot of sewing. Big family. Well, we were all big families, it was the only way to keep warm...'

'I'm staying with my Uncle Armstrangler,' said Cheery. 'It's not very nice there. People talk about mining most of the time.'

'Don't you?'

'There's not a lot you can say about mining. I mine in my mine and what's mine is mine, ' said Cheery in a singsong voice. 'And then they go on about gold which, frankly, is a lot duller than people think.'

'I thought dwarfs loved gold,' said Angua.

They just say that to get it into bed.'

'Are you sure you're a dwarf? Sorry. That was a joke.'

'There must be more interesting things. Hair. Clothes. People.'

'Good grief. You mean girl talk?

'I don't know, I've never talked

No, you don't understand,' said Carrot. 'I mean he wrote them because they were the only ones he knew that worked...'

'Worked how?'

'Well... you know the kiss of life?' said Carrot. 'I mean first aid? I know you know, Nobby. You came with me when they had that course at the YMPA.'

'I only went 'cos you said you got a free cup of tea and a biscuit,' said Nobby sulkily. 'Anyway, the dummy ran away when it was my turn.'

'It's the same with life-saving, too,' said Carrot. 'We want people to breathe, so we try to make sure they've got some air in them...'