Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

Vera did not see the point in tai chi. Too slow to do much good, surely. It’s about as effective as yoga, which is to say, not very.

cold water, Vera believes, would freeze the fats in your arteries and give you heart disease.

tugs at Julia’s heartstrings,

now it hits her.

loaded to the brim.

They all laugh until their sides hurt,

“Oh, you are up early,” Vera says. “No judgment, of course, but usually you let the whole morning pass by before you wake up.”

“You do realize saying ‘no judgment’ before saying something very judgy doesn’t make it less judgy?”

“This is—it’s good. Very good.”

Tilly whistles. “Coming from her, I think it’s akin to a standing ovation.”

She shoots him a glare, and he grins and hugs her. “Come on, Ma. Just admit it. Sana’s artwork blew your mind.”

Vera releases her breath in a long sigh. “Okay, Sana’s artwork is more good than anything I see before.”

“Dang, that’s quite the compliment,” Julia says, nudging Sana, who’s red in the face and grinning.

“You like it?” Sana says. “Really?”

“Yes, better than when I give birth to Tilly.”

“Ooof,” Tilly says. Oliver pats his shoulder.

“Nothing personal, Tilly,” Vera says, “is just that you a very ugly baby.”

“Yep, nothing personal about that, Ma.”

Tilly tells Vera that he’s asked his colleague to represent her in case the cops come after her for tampering with evidence, but
Vera brushes him away, saying she would love to see them try. She shoots Gladys a glare as she says this, but the other woman has wisely decided to pretend to be asleep.

Sana usually brings with her something unhealthy but exciting, like samosas, at which Gladys squawks, “Do you know what those things do to your cholesterol?” Vera urges Sana to bring cocaine, not to snort, of course, just to see what Gladys will say, but thus far has been refused. Young people nowadays are so dreadfully boring.