Kathleen Glasgow

I’m scared, because I don’t know how to be with people, but I don’t know how to be alone, either,

I just don’t think I matter.

I mean, we spent so much time wasted back home, do you realize that? We were fucked up all the time.”

“I know. Some of it was fun, though.” I smile.

“Yeah, but sometimes you have to let stuff go if you want to move forward, you know?

I wasn’t scared. I’d just never seen a girl with skin like mine.

He said, “I just want it to be quiet.”

I cut because I can’t deal. It’s as simple as that. The world becomes an ocean, the ocean washes over me, the sound of water is deafening, the water drowns my heart, my panic becomes as large as planets. I need release, I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself.
There, there.
Casper told us, “It’s counterintuitive, yes? That hurting yourself makes you feel better. That somehow you can rid yourself of pain by causing yourself pain.”

I can never win with this body I live in.

Like an orphan, I came here with no clothes.

But: I remember the stars that night. They were like salt against the sky, like someone spilled the shaker against very dark cloth.

I wasn’t scared. I’d just never seen a girl with skin like mine.