Heather Havrilesky

The rise of digital culture has exacerbated this problem dramatically. We’re now, more than ever before, bombarded by hidden and overt messages about our personal worth.

Only by recognizing the absurdity of our guiding assumptions can we cultivate a more organic, enthusiastic, complex relationship to our lived experience

Because the state of cultural confusion we’re experiencing is anything but trivial.

we are taught to communicate triumph while privately experiencing ourselves as inadequate and our lives as disappointing

Many of the hurdles we face are not concrete and are therefore difficult to address directly

many of us share the same symptoms, but we experience them as private and embarrassing.

Our addiction to fantasy and control also leads us to seek a moral for every negative outcome: He got cancer because he held on to his anger. She got rich because she persevered over adversity. He became homeless because he lost faith in his dreams. She became famous because she believed in her passions, against all odds.

our shared hallucinations and false narratives rob us of our imagination and our humanity, crush our sense of community and our connections to each other, and mute our sympathies for those who are vulnerable or oppressed, while heightening our affection for those who shamelessly oppress and harm others

We have to reject the shiny, shallow future that will never come, and locate ourselves in the current, flawed moment

You are just a person with regular flaws, fumbling your way toward a satisfying life. You’ve been handed a big challenge, but one that’s going to help you to grow up and take care of yourself and connect honestly with other people. You don’t have to love this challenge right now. You can cry every day and feel terrible about it. But this challenge wasn’t meant to topple everything else you’re doing that’s good in your life. T