The Costa Rica rule, the Ronaldinho doctrine and inherent Weiss

The Spy with the Cold Nose, Zlatan’s Galaxy Quest, and memories of that 7-1

Wrwgwai, foul thobes and nightclubbing in Stoke

Pardew the discarded, Lamela the b*stard and Zlatan the great

Gentleman Ray and A Picture of Dorian Gray

Bubble baths, Bo Selecta and the brow

BONUS: 'Roma Nel Mito'

Karma, perfection and a commemorative gold pen

The secret of success, John Betjeman and Girls Aloud

Pressed plants, Danny Dyer and striped snakeheads